hot_soup_sex (hot_soup_sex) wrote in bible_rewritten,
hot_soup_sex
hot_soup_sex
bible_rewritten

It's MC Easter time.

Happy Easter everyone!

What a joyous religious holiday it is, isn't it??
Today is the day that the apostles stole Jesus's corpse out of his tomb to fake a resurrection- I mean..

This is the day he was resurrected!

Which totally explains the Easter egg thing, right?

Wrong-o. The whole Easter bunny and eggs thing is an entirely Pagan ritual.

The Easter bunny or the 'Easter Hare' as he is more formally known, is quite simply a symbol of fertility. Let's face it. He's a rabbit. What do rabbits do best? Reproduce and make way too many little baby Easter bunnies. Observe for a moment what time of year Easter takes place. Spring time. Which is when practically every living creature goes into heat.
It's actually speculated that the death and resurrection of Jesus did in fact NOT take place when Easter does, but seeing as the Pagan's were already celebrating a fertility holiday, the church thought it'd be a marvelous idea to say "Woah! Did you know that you Pagan's have actually been celebrating the re-birth of Jesus all along?"
And the Pagan's were all like "Um, no, dudes, we're totally like...celebrating baby making and stuff. Who the fuck is Jesus?"

But that didn't go so well with the Christians, and since they sort of..ya know...ruled everything at the time, Easter eventually morphed both the Pagan fertility rituals of the time and the resurrection of Jesus into one tasty chocolate crucifix and a crown of strawberry flavored thorns.
So Happy sex and Jesus re-birth day, my friends!

If anyone has Easter pictures they want to post, put 'em under a cut. We'd love to see them. Leslie and I have a few to be posted later when we have a camera cord available.

-The Dani
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